Tentang seseorang.

Kulari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku

kulari ke pantai kemudian teriakku

sepi, sepi dan sendiri aku benci

aku ingin bingar aku mahu di pasar

bosan aku dengan penat

enyah saja kau pekat

seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri

pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai

biar mengaduh sampai gaduh

ada malaikat menyulam jaring laba-laba belang di tembok keraton putih

kenapa tak goyangkan saja locengnya biar terdera

atau aku harus lari ke hutan

belok ke pantai?

GYS 2010

OMG! Tomorrow wud be the DAY. It's GYS people! It stands for Global Youth Symposium. I'm so darn excited. Do support us dearies. Wish us luck!:)

Oh silly me.

You know what the worst feeling in the world is?

When someone you have been crushing on forever,

when someone you love with all your heart,

when someone gives you butterflies when he walks by,

when someone you dream about everyday,

and someone you would give absolutely anything to,

feels the same way 

just not about you.

Hmmmm......

Deep down, immense pain

Longing to be loved...

" Its twitching again and again and again. And now it felt numb. Whats happening to me?"

Daddy's little pride.

The question here is, are you really a daddy's little pride?

Answer: Nahh, I don't think so. But hate the fact that I resembled him in so many ways. 

Tried too hard being oblivious bout that fact. However each day, its getting obvious

and can't be denied. I'm becoming him in a sense.

The anger, the frustration, the fear, the low self-esteem, EVERYTHING.

Everything that I got or acted upon, resembled him.

Ugghh! Really hate that.

I don't wanna be him. I don't wanna be like him. I don't wanna see myself as him. 

Gosh, I know I'm a sinner to say this out loud but hate that I hate him so much.

Why? 

Hmm.

I'm not the person who I used to be.

I'm not a saint and no more am I a naive girl nor innocent 

in flowing the reality of life.

I MISSED MY OLD ME.

I MISSED ME.

*It's official, I'm a nutcase*

T__________T

Hijrah?

New resolution? New determination? 

New oath? New pledge?

New purpose?

New what?

I want a NEW ME!

Oh please oh please oh please......

R: Do you have any purposes/targets/aims in your life so far?

I: Nope, do we have to?

R: DEFINITELY! Duuhhh. *slaps forehead*

I: *double the sigh* I know. So, what should I do now?

R: Buckle up and organize your freagin life back on track will you? 

I: HOW?

R: Do I need to teach you on this? Like seriously? -____-"""

I: Hmm, ok. I ll try my best. 

R: So, lets list down your priorities as for now.

I: Ok2. 

List of IfaM priorities:

1. Family (wtv shits happens, keep your head straight and DON'T EVER DO STUPID STUFF anymore!)
2. STUDY!!!! (even if you're on holiday, you shouldn't waste it off dear. Bare that in mind! Revise!!)
3. GYS (*Bangs head on the floor* Must check out all those emails and aliases with KS by TODAY!)
4. House chores  

So, what else are you waiting for IfaM?

Life doesn't wait for you to catch up.

Its you who the one that needs to do all the catch ups.

So, run IfaM run! 

CATCH UP!

Fish cake!

I think I just did something which is beyond stupidity

which is so not me.

*cringe* 

I felt sick inside out T_____T

Help meeeeeee!!!

Not gonna repeat that, not gonna repeat that ever again. 

*crossed fingers*

*gulp*

Cough cough

COUGH COUGH!!

Could you please stop doing that 

my dear throat? Cz its getting damn itchy each time I coughed.

Don't make me pull you out and scratch it out 

till it bleeds. You don't want that to happen right? Right?

SO, PLEASE STOP COUGHING

pleasssseeeee

T_______________T

" I wanna end this suffering real bad. Cz if I'm sick, I ll be all grumpy and bitchy at the same time. Hmm."

Random thoughts

Hoyehhh, HOLIDAY baybehh HOLIDAY!

Q&A Session:

So are you happy? Definitely.

What will you do for the rest of your holiday? Being a full time maid at family's crib

*ehemms, a sexy french maid mind you*

So, again, are you happy? Err *pause**hesitate a bit* Definitely.

-_______________________-""""

Fine lah fine. A bit unhappy cz not gonna spend ma holiday at a white sandy beach with clear blue water. Just because ma & pa are super duper busy with their work, doesn't mean I can't do devilish rush going adrenaline sorta activities no?  Muahahaha. There are some hidden tricks underneath the sleeves ya know. Must reserve it for the worst boring possible day ever *evil laugh* 

Bye.

Monster E has perished

 On a blue sunny day,

out of sudden came this one big horrendous monster 

rummaging into a town called

I-Town.

It's called as Monster E!!!!

The people of I-Town was so devastated of its existence

and dare not to go out from their house.

But fear NOT!

SuperIfa is there to protect them.

She fought real hard with Monster E.

It was said to be the most gruesome battle that they ever seen in their lives.

She fought and fought and fought with all her might and heart.

Finally SuperIfa won the battle but with cuts and bruises.

Unfortunately,Monster E got escaped and perished into thin air.

I-Town is once again at peace. 

BUT

SuperIfa knew at any moment Monster E would definitely come back and haunt them. 

 As for now, she will keep on staring at the peach black of sky 

and keep on hoping that that horrible monster wont gonna 

visit them soon. 

*finger crossed*

*Monster E here resembles Examination

*SuperIfa here resembles IfaM muahahaha

P/S: Exam da habis. Tgh tggu result Family Law keluar *gulp*

       Miracles do happen, miracles do happen, miracles do happen, miracles do happen

       Agghhh, stress.

       Agghhh, nak mkn lah.

       Bye.

2#Burnt biscuit

Pink - Family Portrait

Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful
And it's tearin' me down

I hear glasses breakin'
As I sit up in my bed
I told Dad you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said

You fight about money
'Bout me and my brother
And this I come home to
This is my shelter

It ain't easy, growin' up in World War III
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family

Can we work it out?
(Can we?)
Can we be a family?
(Can we?)
I promise I'll be better
(I promise)
Mommy, I'll do anything
(I'll do anything)

Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
Daddy, please don't leave

Daddy please stop yelling
(Stop)
I can't stand the sound
(Can't stand the sound)
Make Mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around

My mama, she loves you
(I know it)
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too

I ran away today
Ran from the noise, ran away
(Ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way

It ain't easy growin' up in World War III
Never knowin' what love could be
That I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
(I don't want love to destroy me)
Like it did my family

Can we work it out?
(Can we work it?)
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
(I promise I'll do anything)
Mommy, I'll do anything
(To keep you better)

Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
(I promise, I promise)
Daddy, please don't leave
(Stay)

In our family portrait
(In our family portrait)
We look pretty happy
(We look pretty happy)
Let's play pretend
(Let's play pretend)
Let's act like it comes naturally
(That's right)
(That's right)

I don't wanna have to split the holidays
(No, no)
I don't want two addresses
(No)
I don't want a stepbrother anyways
And I don't want my Mommy
Have to change her last name!

In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
We look pretty normal
Let's go back to that

In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend
Act like it goes naturally

In our family portrait
(Can we work it out?)
We look pretty happy
(Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal
(I promise I'll be better)
Let's go back to that
(Mommy I'll do anything)

In our family portrait
(Can we work it out?)
We look pretty happy
(Can we be a family?)
Let's play pretend
(I promise I'll be better)
Act like it goes naturally
(Daddy please don't leave)
Oh let's go back oh lets go back to that

In our family portrait
(Can we work it out?)
We look pretty happy
(Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal
(I promise I'll be better)
Lets go back to that
(Mommy I'll do anything)

In our family portrait
(Can we work it out?)
We look pretty happy
(Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal
(I promise I'll be better)
Let's go back to that
(Mommy I'll do anything)

Daddy don't leave
(Don't leave)
Daddy don't leave
(Don't leave)
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy turn around please

Remember that the night you left
You took my shining star
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone

Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my brother
I won't spill the milk at dinner

I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night

Ohh ho ohh ho
Ohh ho ohh ho



:\

"Burnt biscuit, that is who I am. Burnt inside and out.."

1#Burnt biscuit

While browsing through my friend's pictures with her family, out of sudden I felt empty inside.

I felt sick with the thought of hoping that their happiness wouldn't last long. Sometimes I even hope that 1 day I could wake up and switch souls with other person or pretend that I'm someone else instead of being miserable me. 

Pa, ma, hmm..

Imy guys loads, I mean, I missed the old pa&ma. Not the ever busy-tight face-not caring pa&ma.

I felt empty, no, scratch that. I felt incomplete. I felt lost. Can you ever imagine. I'm not a diary person before this but why on earth out of sudden I opted to pour my heart out in this new baby blog? Dontcu think its weird pa&ma? Dontcu think so? *sigh

When ever you came home from work ma, I was hoping that you would ask me; how's your day? Have you taken your lunch? How's study? Do you have a bf? What will you do on weekends? Those kinda simple questions would surely enlighten my day ma. But no, you chose to glue your mouth tight when ever you are with me. You chose to text your friends instead of making jokes with me. You chose to push me aside when ever I hugged you. I giggled when you did so just to cover up the tears which in any minute would stroll down my cheeks when you pushed me away. Usually, I would suck my breath in. And ran over to my room. And pour my heart out over my puffy pillow. Poor fella, drenched in tears. 

And as for you pa, I don't know whats wrong with us. But so far, I've noticed that, we can't sit in a room. Or even stand in a row because all we are good at is dishing each other and making one another frantic with anger. Why pa why? *sigh. 

I just want a normal happy family. Dinner together at nights. Ease before sleep. No sane person would ever like to be in a middle of shouting and sheds, nawh? Same goes to me. Hmm. It's ok. I ll pray harder next time.  Yes, I will wake up fresh tomorrow morning seeing ma making breakfast with a smile on her face while pa reading his daily papers at the table looking all glee and me and the brothers rushing towards the table. Yeahh, will do that. Will pray harder next time. 

Inhale positiveness, exhale negativeness.

"Burnt biscuit, that is who I am. Burnt inside and out.."

Pink- Family Portrait

Newbuzz in town.

Hi there!

I ll make it short, simple but sweet.

I'm new here.

I ll treat this baby blog as a walking diary of mine.

Definitely it will be a place of screams & sheds. 

Happy moments will be included as well (don't you worry bout that hee)

You'll hear lots from me starting from today onwards

So, be nice to me or else, I ll scream! =P

"Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep"