1#Burnt biscuit

While browsing through my friend's pictures with her family, out of sudden I felt empty inside.

I felt sick with the thought of hoping that their happiness wouldn't last long. Sometimes I even hope that 1 day I could wake up and switch souls with other person or pretend that I'm someone else instead of being miserable me. 

Pa, ma, hmm..

Imy guys loads, I mean, I missed the old pa&ma. Not the ever busy-tight face-not caring pa&ma.

I felt empty, no, scratch that. I felt incomplete. I felt lost. Can you ever imagine. I'm not a diary person before this but why on earth out of sudden I opted to pour my heart out in this new baby blog? Dontcu think its weird pa&ma? Dontcu think so? *sigh

When ever you came home from work ma, I was hoping that you would ask me; how's your day? Have you taken your lunch? How's study? Do you have a bf? What will you do on weekends? Those kinda simple questions would surely enlighten my day ma. But no, you chose to glue your mouth tight when ever you are with me. You chose to text your friends instead of making jokes with me. You chose to push me aside when ever I hugged you. I giggled when you did so just to cover up the tears which in any minute would stroll down my cheeks when you pushed me away. Usually, I would suck my breath in. And ran over to my room. And pour my heart out over my puffy pillow. Poor fella, drenched in tears. 

And as for you pa, I don't know whats wrong with us. But so far, I've noticed that, we can't sit in a room. Or even stand in a row because all we are good at is dishing each other and making one another frantic with anger. Why pa why? *sigh. 

I just want a normal happy family. Dinner together at nights. Ease before sleep. No sane person would ever like to be in a middle of shouting and sheds, nawh? Same goes to me. Hmm. It's ok. I ll pray harder next time.  Yes, I will wake up fresh tomorrow morning seeing ma making breakfast with a smile on her face while pa reading his daily papers at the table looking all glee and me and the brothers rushing towards the table. Yeahh, will do that. Will pray harder next time. 

Inhale positiveness, exhale negativeness.

"Burnt biscuit, that is who I am. Burnt inside and out.."

Pink- Family Portrait