Stupidity

Whether we realize it or not, we are bound to make stupid mistakes in our life. People often said that we should learn from the past and make better of the future. But it seems pretty hard for me to do that. I keep on repeating doing the same stupid mistakes again and again and again. Gosh. I wanted to change. I want a reformation. I don't want to be an oblivious young girl. I want a purpose in life. Dear Allah, do give me the strength & courage to change myself or hijrah in being a good Muslim. I could not bear the thought of having to face the repercussion/punishments from You dear Almighty for all of my sins during my afterlife. It shudders me strongly to the thought of facing death eventually. Thinking of the all the sins that I've committed in past or present. Everything seems bleak & dim. *sigh. I want to go to heaven, I don't want to end up being captivated in hell for the rest of my afterlife. But looking at the rate of I'm going right now, I'm pretty scared of the place that I ll end up in. *sigh. Ya Allah, help me. Please soften my heart and help me to purify back my  blacken heart from all the sins and bad acts. Ya Allah please protect me from sins. And dear Allah, when I forget You, please knock some senses in me. I beg for Your compassion & mercy dear Almighty. Amin.